Jokes Collection

Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,

bunglow hai,paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?

Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai bunglow hai paisa hai.

Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?





3 idiots dekh ke kisne kya seekha??

Medical student :use of vaccum cleaner

MBA student:jo dil kahe wohi karo

Engineer:naak beech mein nahi aati





Bubbli ne ghar se bhag k shadi ki

5 din bad Bubbli rote hove waps aagae

Baap:Ab kyu aai ho?

Bubbli:

Papa wo BMW ka driver nikla

N95 b china wala tha





1 boy to another:

Yaar tum ne kabhi koi larki phansai hai?



2nd boy!

Yaar larki main ne phansa leni thi pr

tum logon ne ye mohalla hi chor diya…! Hahahaha





A person never smoked, Drank,

no Affair, no Girlfriend, No Flirt,

when died. Insurance Company refused claim,

They Said \" Jo Jiya hi nahin mara kaise ?\"





Wife:- Bakray ki zubaan pakaai ha khaao gay?

Husbnd: Main moonh se nikli huvi cheez nahi khata.,.

Wife: To phir anda bana doon?





Teachur: Why is 14 November called

\'Children\'s Day?\'Student:

Because it is exactly nine months after

\'Valentine\'s Day*.





Molana sahab jumay k khutbe mein:

Ajkal cable pe channel bohot kharab aa rahe hen!

Pathan: Nahi, hamare ghar to saaf aa rahe hain.

Aap apna taar check karo..





wife: mere irade bade nek hai,

aap 1000 me se 1 hai.



Husband: dimag ke hum bhi don hai,

pehle ye bata kamini, baki ke 999 kaun hai....





Santa= Aisi ki tesi kab hoti hai.

Kab lagta hai ki ab to

bhagwan v nahi bacha saakta.

Banta= Jab loose motion lage ho

aur pajame ka naala na khule...





Nargis to Shaitan:Main ik Masoom

tay shareef larki aan...Shaitan:

Jan day NARGIS baji; hun tu apni

ho k enj tay zaleel na kr. . . .





BOY: Bus,train aur ladki ek jaise hote hai

Ek jati hai to dusri aati hai



GIRL: Riksha,taxi aur ladke ek jaise hote hai

Ek ko bulate hai to 4 aate hai





Santa 60th B\'day Bnta-Ye Cake Pe bulb

Q lagaya he? Snta-60 Candls lagane

Me Mushkil ho Rhi thi Isliye

60Watt k bulb laga diye





2 bache jungle me potty kar rahe the.

Achanak sher aa gaya1st-chotu,

tu dar raha hai?2nd-nahi,

main nahi darta 1st-to saale apne dho,

mere kyu dho rha hai.





Lady doctor: Tum rooz subah

clinic ke bahar khare ho kar

auratoon ko kyun ghoorte ho?

Pathan: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai:

AURATOON KO DEKHNAY KA WAQT 9am-11am





1 Pthan ka Air Hostes sy jagra hogya

Pilot:Sir kia hua?

PTHAN:isny hmari chai me Taweez milaya hy

Air Hostes:Sir Khuda ka nam len,wo..\"Tea Bag\"tha..





Santa found cigrate in daughter\'s

room\"o God she smoked?\" Den found

wine\"o God she drink?\"

\"Den he saw a boy,\"thnk god!

Toh ye sab iska hai.





Bebe mar gayi.ladies ron lgiyaan.

bebe kithe gayi,jithe na dhup na cha,

na roti na sabzi,na bijli na pani..

santa :yar dekh lagda budi saade ghar na gai hove..





Santa ki bivi uske driver k sath bhaag gaee..

logo ne poochha \'santa ji hun ki kroge..?

Santa: karna ki hai hun gaddi aap chlaawange...







Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..

Banta- Saale main tere kapde

phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!

Santa- Dekh serious ladai me

Romantic baat mat kar!!!!





Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue,

or sohneo ki Haal chal hai twade?

Ladki-(Gusse me) jo teri bhen ka hai,

Santa-(hass ke) wo to maa banne wali hai.





Grandpa: Teri Teachr aa rahi hai.

Ja chup jaa.

Grandson: Pehle aap chup jao.

Aapki maut ke bahane maine do hafton ka leave le rakha hai.





Rat k 3 bje santa k phn per phn aaya

HELLO yahan FATIMA MAHFOOS rahti hai kya?

Santa-kutte itni rat ko ager fatima

mere pas hoti to kya mahfoos rahti..





Phathan ne ghar ka darwaza ukhara aur

kandhay pe rakh k bazar mai gya,

ek aadmi ne poocha khan kya dawaza bechna hy?

pathan: nahi yaar taala khulwana hy :)





Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo..

Ye Shaurat bhi lelo. . . Ye daulat b lelo,

ye shaurat b lelo...

Santa: Ye bechara bahut pareshan hai iski aurat bhi lelo..





naukar - sahab aapka kutta to admi jaisa dikhta hai..

kya khilate ho?

sahab - kamine ye kutta nahi h.

mera beta h CA kar rha h. abhi exam chal rahe hai..





Sweet insult- 1ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya.

1khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha:

apne bade bhai k pair chhuu rahe ho? Ladka:

hanji bhabhi ji.





Papa:Beta, mummy bahut chup-chup

baithi hai kya baat hai?

Beta:Papa, mummy ne LIPGUARD maanga tha,

maine FEVIQUICK pakra diya...





Santa:\"Maths vich fail kyu hoya\"..

SON:1st day Tchr kendi 5+3=8..

Agle din kendi 6+2=8..

fir kendi 4+4=8

ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi..:-
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